Brooklyn Nine-Nine is one of my favourite TV Shows, one that I am dreadfully behind on right now. I plan to correct that as soon as possible, especially after it was shockingly cancelled earlier this year only to be rescued by Netflix almost immediately!
Captain Raymond Holt is without a doubt my favourite character, and as today is Andre Braugher’s birthday, today seemed the perfect day to share my favourite Raymond Holt quotes! Here they are, in no particular order…
#1 Whilst watching a dog show
[chuckles] A bold personality.
We know what that’s code for.
She’s a bitch.
#2 When he finally embraced the joy of codenames
#3 When he had to pretend to be straight whilst undercover
[You keep talking about her thigh gap]
That’s my favourite part of a woman.
There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.
#4 When we found out his thoughts on the sky
[Would you tell the sky to stop being so blue?]
Yes. I wish it were tan.
It’s my favourite color. It’s no-nonsense.
#5 When he tried to raise the team’s morale
Why is no one having a good time?
I specifically requested it.
#6 When he insulted Madeline Wunch (on one of many occasions)
[Hello, Raymond. How do you like my new office? Twentieth floor.]
Yes, I never thought I’d see you this high without a broom under you.
#7 When he embraced his childhood
[I was trying to lighten the mood. The squad’s been stressed since these drills started. Plus, you ordered me to act like a seven-year-old. Seven-year-olds like to have fun.]
That’s true. When I was seven, I used to sneak into my father’s office to see his collection of antique globes.
#8 When he was the friend we all need
Any basic bitch would be lucky to be like you.
#9 When he could not even
[My trip here from the train station hey, I swear to you I heard the cab driver mumble under his breath, “You will die tonight.” Is that not the most insane thing you have ever heard? I mean, can you even, Raymond?]
I cannot even.
#10 When he didn’t care for lunch
[Joining us for lunch, Sir?]
Oh, no, I’ve already consumed the required calories for this day period.
So tell me, because I could have quite easily made this a Top 50 list, heck I could do a Top 10 simply of Wunch insults, what’s your favourite Captain Raymond Holt quote?