Director: Michael Bay
Genre: Action, Thriller
Runtime: 127 Minutes
Main Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Mélanie Laurent, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ben Hardy, Adria Arjona, Corey Hawkins, Dave Franco
Plot: 6 underground agents work together on the world’s most dangerous, top-secret missions. All of them have buried their pasts behind them and are completely off the grid. Essentially, this is Michael Bay’s Suicide Squad.
My Thoughts: I’m avoiding writing anything about Rise of Skywalker at the moment for fear of creating something 1,000 words long and completely incoherent, so let me tell you about this piece of trash movie I watched earlier this week instead. If you have a Netflix account then it’s impossible to not know anything about it. I’ve seen it, and Netflix is still shoving it in my face. It’s the second most expensive Netflix movie out there, second to The Irishman.
Is it any good? That depends entirely on what you want from the movie. If you want a decent plot, character development, and a logical story that doesn’t overstay its welcome, you’re going to be disappointed. But if you want to watch Ryan Reynolds play himself, car chases, explosions, fight scenes and corny jokes in spades, then you’re going to love it. For me, it was half an hour too long to pass as a good movie. I just wasn’t interested enough, but it still had a lot of memorable moments.
I should probably tell you to avoid the movie but…there’s still something about it that’s fun. In amongst all the nausea-inducing shaky-cam moments and attempts at invoking emotion, there are jokes that land and action scenes that are actually stunning. It’s a mess, but it’s a beautiful mess.
Best Bit: The movie opens with a car chase scene and honestly? It’s probably the best I’ve ever seen. Maybe I haven’t seen enough action movies but this monstrous scene shows the realities behind a car chase this wild, pedestrians being flung around like crisp packets!
Worst Bit: Where do I even begin? There are plenty of cringy moments, but the one that made me laugh loudest was when a rooftop swimming pool was smashed open which caused more flooding than Sharknado!
Fun Trivia: A year prior to the release Ryan Reynolds posted a video of himself talking about how quiet Michael Bay’s movies are, while in the background a car explodes. This scene is in the movie and you can actually see Ryan Reynolds in the background filming the crash.
My Rating: 2 and a half bottles of Aviation Gin, only the tip of the iceberg that is shameless product placement in this movie.
Often Off Topic 
Beautiful mess indeed! It’s a complete trainwreck, but I couldn’t look away. 😂
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We all need our guilty pleasures!
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This movie kind of came out of nowhere and all I’ve heard are bad things. It’s tempting but I’ll probably skip it.
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It’s absolutely barmy from start to finish but definitely not a good movie!
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“Essentially, this is Michael Bay’s Suicide Squad.”
Damn I didn’t even think of it that way but you’re right. I just reviewed this movie a few days ago and I liked it a lot more than you did (for me, it is second only to John Wick 3 this year).
I agree that the car chase scene at the beginning of the movie in Italy is the best part of the movie. Probably my favourite scene in any movie this year, honestly.
Great review.
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Even though I didn’t like the movie overall – that car chase scene is by far the best I think I’ve ever seen!
See, our tastes way vary wildly, but at least we agree that John Wick is amazing 😀
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John Wick 3 is the type of experience that only comes out every few years. I saw it in IMAX and was completely blown away by the audio and visuals. Aside from the many pretentious art-house movies I loved that came out this decade, I think that John Wick 3 is the best movie to come out all decade. The action was visceral, and the audio and visuals enhanced the overall experience masterfully. Plus, Keanu Reeves. Just… Keanu Reeves. Nothing else needs to be said, his name alone should instill a sense of wonder.
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There’s a million things I would rather do than watch anything by Michael Bay. He is the worst fucking filmmaker ever. And if you were to ask me would I watch this or Cats knowing that either one would likely kill me. I’d choose Cats.
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Hahahaha! Oh, I’ve seen a few Cats reviews. I’m torn between seeing it or Jumanji tomorrow. I kind of need to see if it really is that bad.
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I’d probably stick with Jumanji despite my disdain towards Nick Jonas and the Crock.
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I’m interested in why you think Michael Bay is “the worst fucking filmmaker ever”. I know a lot of people hate on Michael Bay and I know their reasons, but I want to know yours. Personally, I would never label such a self-aware director as the worst director ever. Michael Bay knows who he is and knows what he does and his films make that painstakingly obvious.
He has basically even admitted that the story and characters in his films are bad but that they are a success on a technical level (he has apologized for Pearl Harbour (the movie, not the event) and Armageddon (again, the movie, not the event)).
I would agree that he has had some extremely bad films but that is more reflective of his inconsistency in quality rather than in the quality itself.
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I just think he’s the worst filmmaker out there. You never get a sense of what is going on in his films. Every shot is almost 5-8 seconds and he doesn’t know how to keep the camera still for more than 5 seconds. He doesn’t know when to break from action. He has a poor sense of humor. Plus, you have to be a really disgusting person to think it’s OK to shoot a scene of a bomb dropping down onto a battleship from the bomb’s point of view.
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(Replying to your original comment because it won’t let me reply to your response)
“I just think he’s the worst filmmaker out there. You never get a sense of what is going on in his films. Every shot is almost 5-8 seconds and he doesn’t know how to keep the camera still for more than 5 seconds.”
You should definitely stay away from Malick then lol. Anyways, I get what you are saying though, I just disagree. There are far more offensive directors out there.
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Malick is actually one of my all-time favorite filmmakers. It’s not just that he’s poor in his visual language and editing but it’s also the fact that he’s a misogynist where he would introduce women as sex objects. I haven’t seen anything he’s done since the third Transformers film as I think everything he’s done from Armageddon are just the shits. I have no interest in seeing anything else he does at all because he’s got no idea of establishing a simple shot. He’s all about bombast and bad visual effects. He’s the kind of filmmaker that is adored by the likes of IMPOTUS.
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“Malick is actually one of my all-time favorite filmmakers.”
Well there is one thing we agree on :p Malick is an absolute master. However, Tarkovsky is my absolute favourite of all-time and it isn’t even close.
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I love Tarkovsky. I’ve seen all of his films. I have five them on DVD.
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I considered watching this film but every review I saw so far is absolutely damning. So it’ll be a skip for me!
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Watch it over 2 nights like I did, and then if you find it just as awful it doesn’t feel like as much time wasted, ha!
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I actually rated this above The Rise of Skywalker lol
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Ouch!
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We just saw it and actually liked it, but I’m with you about it being a little too long, and that swimming pool–where did all the water come from?!
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Oh I’m glad you liked it! That swimming pool bit was so crazy, ha!
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