Director: Anna Elizabeth James
Genre: Drama, Thriller
Runtime: 114 Minutes
Main Cast: Kristin Davis, Dermot Mulroney, Shanola Hampton, Lora Martinez-Cunningham, Greer Grammer, Grayson Berry, Marie Wagenman
Plot: Mary (Kristin Davis) is an award-winning writer tasked with writing one last novel. Struggling with writer’s block, she hires a young girl named Grace (Greer Grammer) to help look after her children and her home. Grace fits in with the family immediately and the kids adore her, but after a while things at home get a little…strange.
My Thoughts: I should have known. I should have known a movie called Deadly Illusions couldn’t be good. It sounds like the name of a punk or emo band that the weird kids at school are part of. But last week I said I was going to stop judging books by their covers and so I gave Deadly Illusions the benefit of the doubt. It really is as bad as it sounds, I’m not sure where to begin. I guess the saving grace (pun intended) is that it was so fantastically bad that I was invested for the whole ride.
Firstly, nothing at all happens for a good hour, it’s painfully slow. Even when the drama does kick in, it’s far too late to save it. Then there’s the fact that most of the plot doesn’t even make sense. Mary gets visited by her publishers, the company is in trouble and they desperately need her to write a new novel to save them. Okay, that sounds fair. But they’re willing to pay Mary $2m in advance, regardless of how well the book sells. I’m no business woman but if that’s how they conduct their finances then it’s really no surprise that they’re struggling.
Moving on to some spoiler territory (I won’t ruin the twisty ending though) – Mary is quite happy to cheat on her husband with Grace, but is furious when she finds that he’s also cheating with Grace? Double standards, much? It’s all just sloppy, lazy writing and half-hearted acting. I wouldn’t recommend this at all, it’s absurdity kept me interested for it’s almost 2-hour runtime but I clearly don’t have anything better to do!
Best Bit: I don’t have an academy award on my shelves at home so I’m hardly one to judge, but the acting here is sometimes hilariously bad. I won’t give details but there’s a scene where a character comes across a dead body and screams ‘Oh my God!’ and it actually sounds like an excited scream – it was unintentionally hilarious.
Worst Bit: I can forgive so, so much – but there’s a moment where a dog gets kicked for absolutely no reason and that’s just not okay in my books!
Fun Trivia: Kristin Davis broke her “no nudity clause” in this film. She went the whole series of Sex in The City without disrobe.
My Rating: Half a laptop that you should always use to do a background check on anyone you’re about to hire to look after your kids.