Going Off Topic (#24) You’re My Therapy

Does anyone else’s January suck, like, hard? Because man, I’m so over this month. I know things always have a way of looking up after a while but I’m struggling right now. And I’ve always felt better by writing/typing things out so, if you’ll excuse me, I need to do some venting. You can just scroll down to the more colourful section of this post if you like where I’ll actually be talking about fun stuff.

My car went in for a service and afterwards I was handed a long, expensive list of parts that needed replacing. That meant almost 2 weeks worth of driving a dodgy car, trying to sort out my work situation so that the car could actually be in the garage, and of course the money. It was a lot. So much in fact that my credit card is maxed out. Which wouldn’t be so bad if I could just slowly pay it off, but I have no money left at the end of the month to do that. Not until my little girl gets some free childcare time, which won’t happen till January 2021.

Our house has been plagued by the usual germs and illnesses that January brings. I don’t think I’ve slept more than 5-6 hours on any night this month so far. I’m exhausted. Work has been awful. I only work for a tiny company so when 2 of my colleagues are treating me like shit on their shoe, it leaves me with basically no one to talk to in the day. I stormed out of the office last week and worked from the sofa area of the building, and they haven’t spoken to me since.

At the start of Feb in 2018, I accepted I was struggling too much with being a Mum, saw a doctor, and went on anti-depressants. Things got better and I went off them in the summer. At the start of Feb in 2019, I accepted I was struggling way too much again, saw a doctor, and went on anti-depressants. I stayed on them longer that time, but was off them again by the end of summer. You can see where this is going, can’t you? Every day I struggle, some days harder than others. I really, really don’t want to go back to medication though. Am I good Mum? I don’t think so. I sure don’t feel like it half the time. I love her more than anything in the world, and there’s nothing more upsetting than feeling like I’m failing her.

She’s amazing. She’s hilarious, she’s adorable, and she’s so darn smart. But she’s 2. She throws tantrums that amaze me. Sometimes I stay strong and other times I either shout back or hand her a chocolate biscuit to calm the storm. She’s never slept well, and everything I read or am told is that it’s normal, but I can’t help but feel like maybe I did something wrong. I don’t know. It’s a constant feeling of not knowing if I’m ever doing the right thing. But I love her, and I’ll never stop trying.

Right. This is getting a bit depressing, isn’t it? Let’s talk movies!

Despite it all, I’ve kicked 2020 off right when it comes to movies. I usually managed around 10-11 per month but I’ve already seen 17 so that feels good. Apart from last week I’ve been going to the cinema twice a week too which I’ve really enjoyed! I’m hoping to catch The Personal History of David Copperfield this week. The Grudge is out too, but I don’t think I’ll be making that trip!

The BAFTAs are this Sunday so expect a predictions post from me very soon. I’m hilariously bad at predicting anything so you can always have a laugh at my expense. I’m also very close to finally finishing my Top 100 Movies of the Decade posts which I thought I would have done by New Year. Whoops.

I finished Season 2 of You. Man, I love that show so much. I actually held back on watching the last episode because I didn’t want it to be over. I still haven’t finished The Witcher but Toss a Coin to your Witcher plays on repeat on my way into work lately. Everyone is raving about Season 2 of Sex Education but I couldn’t get into it when it first came out. I tried again last night and liked it a lot better so who knows?

So for now, I’m a bit behind on blog stuff but I’m not going anywhere. You’ll find me on YouTube watching Adam Driver‘s SNL skits from Saturday, cheering myself up.

Going Off Topic (#23) Who, What, Where, When, Why?

I’m doing a grand old job at posting all my Top 10 lists for the decade, aren’t I? I’m just stuck in that time between Christmas and New Year when I don’t know what day of the week it is, what time of day it is or what a decent meal looks like. Chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and wine…wine whenever! So whilst I’m in no shape to be ranking movies or attempting to review anything I’ve seen, enjoy some word vomit from yours truly.

I hope you all had a grand Christmas, by the way! Mine’s been fab. I’ve spent the days with family and friends and it’s genuinely been lovely. Speaking of friends, my bestie Steph is going to get an ODEON Limitless card in the New Year so I’m going to have a cinema buddy for 2020! Hurrah! I mention her often here but she’s actually been my best friend since we were about 14. We lost touch after school but reunited around 6 years ago and now we live literally seconds away from each other! She’s as nuts as me, and she was grateful I didn’t mention how she broke down in tears in my car after watching Rise of Skywalker. Whoops.

Movies wise, I think I’ve only seen 2 new ones since I wrote anything here.I’ve rewatched Rise of Skywalker twice now but I also watched Parasite on Boxing Day (bloody brilliant) and I saw Little Women last night which was good, if not my usual cup of tea, and ever so slightly confusing with the time jumps. Oh! And I did see Jumanji: The Next Level as well which was surprisingly good, just like the first.

Over to TV…I didn’t catch up with Mr. Robot in time to watch the finale as it happened. I haven’t seen any spoilers yet though, so I’ll get there eventually. I did finish The Mandalorian which was glorious, and I’m interested to see where Season 2 takes us. Me and my husband have started watching The Witcher together which is actually really good so far, even though we’re only 2 episodes in. Can we all agree that Toss a Coin to Your Witcher is the greatest song of 2019? And finally – I’ve started Season 2 of You which is everything I wanted it to be. Life is good, guys.

So, once I’m back into the swing of things I’ll be posting regularly again, and I desperately need to catch up on the blogs I follow too (sorry, guys!). I’ll be finishing my Top 100 Movies of the Decade posts, announcing my 2020 Blind Spot list, and probably making a few New Year’s Resolutions too.

For now – I hope you’re enjoying the break, if you’ve got one, and I’m super excited to be sharing the movies of 2020 with you all next year!

Going Off Topic (#22) I Have Spoken!

It’s been quiet here this last week – partly because I haven’t watched any movies and partly because I’ve been playing The Witcher 3 far too much. It’s such a time sinker! I turn it on, tell myself I’ll only play for an hour, and before I know it I’m dropping to sleep in front of the screen because it’s 11pm and I haven’t stopped. It’s made me even more excited for the Netflix show but at the same time…Henry Cavill just isn’t my Geralt. We’ll see.

Last week I complained about Disney+ and well, let’s just say I watched the first episode of The Mandalorian anyway. In fact, by the time I publish this post I’ll have seen episode 2 as well. It’s SO GOOD. Like, better than I thought it could be. What is it with droids in Star Wars? They literally steal the show. IG-11 had me in stitches, I sure hope he can be fixed.

This weekend I’m seeing Last Christmas which I’m so excited about, despite the terrible reviews I saw on Twitter. I’m fairly sure The Report is out too so I’m going to have to stay away from games this weekend to squeeze it in.
(If it’s not blatantly obvious yet – I wrote this post last Friday expecting to post it over the weekend. I’ve seen Last Christmas. Haven’t stopped crying yet.)

In other blog news I need to highlight something that Dell at Dell on Movies is working on. For 5 years now Dell is hosting his annual Girl Week blogathon. It’s running from 25th November till 1st December and it’s all about celebrating women in the movie world. Last year I wrote a post highlighting the female directors of 2018, and I’m planning a very similar post again. Check out Dell’s announcement post here, and if you don’t follow him already, you really should!

Going Off Topic (#21) Thanks, Disney

So the UK finally has a release date for Disney+. It’s 31st March 2020. Aca-scuse me? The END OF MARCH? The entire world will have watched The Mandalorian by that time. Thanks Disney, I’ll be resorting to finding other ways to watching your newest show and come April I’ll still probably end up signing up anyway. Sigh. People on Twitter are complaining that they have to watch MCU shows to fully understand the new movies whilst the UK is sat here wishing they actually could.

Moving swiftly on, welcome to the run-up to Christmas, AKA Adam Driver season! The Report comes out on 15th November, Marriage Story is released on 6th December, and of course Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker on 19th December. Us getting that one day early is the only reason I’m not raging about Disney+ to tell the truth.

You’ve probably noticed I’ve been a little more active around here this week, which is a habit I’m hoping to continue. It helps that there’s a ton of good movies on the horizon, awards season around the corner, and the end of year lists to make that are so much fun. Somewhere in between all of this is Christmas, too!

On Friday I posted my Blind Spot review for Chicago (2002) which you can read here if you missed it. It’s the first Blind Spot review I’ve posted since June, because it’s the first Blind Spot movie I’ve seen since then. The problem is, in December last year when I wrote the list, my July choice was American Beauty (1999), before the Kevin Spacey thing came to light. I don’t know what to do with it now. Do I still want to watch it? If I do, can I review it? Do I address the elephant in the room or ignore it? I try to stay light-hearted on the blog so it’s a tough one.

I’m more inclined to swap it out for a different movie for now and decide what to do later. I’ve tried to complete the Blind Spot Series challenge on 4 different occasions now and I mean to complete it this year. One movie I’ve had on my watch list for a while now is Black Swan (2010). Do you reckon that’s Blind Spot enough, or too recent?

Going Off Topic (#20) A Short Hiatus

I’m taking a break for a couple of weeks. Since I got back from holiday last month I’ve really struggled to stay active, and it’s led to me having a huge catch-up day of writing my own posts and reading everyone else’s posts, then feeling burnt out and staying away for 3-4 days at a time, only to play catch up again. It’s honestly starting to make blogging feel like a chore and I don’t want it to be that way!

I just feel so out of the loop at the moment, there are movies coming out in the cinema and on Netflix etc that I’ve never even heard of, and I’m usually so in the know. I just want to take a couple of weeks to get my head sorted and my personal life in check, and perhaps get a few posts drafted up ready for when I come back.

I’m far from giving up on my blog though, I absolutely adore it. I love logging in to see new comments, and reading other posts to add to my watch list!

There are a few new releases I’m really excited about. Zombieland: Double Tap comes out in the UK this week, I’m growing ever more impatient for Knives Out to be released, and we’re bound to be getting a Rise of Skywalker trailer soon! Speaking of which, we’re getting THREE Adam Driver movies before Christmas. So there’s that!

I’m trying to catch up on TV Shows, too. I gave up on Mr. Robot for a while but I’m working my way through Season 3, and I’m all caught up with Superstore now which I really enjoyed. Plus, we’re getting new episodes of The Good Place on Netflix so there’s a lot to look forward to.

My little girl turns two tomorrow. I’ve actually kept a little human alive for 2 whole years! Go me. She’s growing up into the funniest kid as well, she brings a smile to the face of anyone and everyone who meets her! The lucky little kid has 3 birthday cakes, too. She took one into nursery with her this morning to share with her friends, and they’re all going to sing happy birthday to her. Then we’ve got family over on Saturday evening so I bought a cake for that. On Sunday, she’s got her official party with her friends so there’s another cake for that!

But yeah. I’m sorry to up and leave for a while. But it’s taken me over 5 hours to even write this post, so I need to step back for a little bit. In the words of Arnie, “Put that cookie down, now!”

Err, I mean…I’ll be back.

Going Off Topic (#19) Jetlag is a B-word

vacation-photos

I’m baaaack! Oh boy, what a vacation! We had such a blast. Going away with a toddler is SO MUCH hard work but to see her little face so happy makes it all worth it. The jetlag hit us hard, though. We arrived back home on Saturday at 9pm, put the kiddo to bed at around 11pm…and she woke up for the day at 1am. Argh. Fingers crossed we’re close to getting back to a normal sleep schedule now, because I’m feeling like an extra from The Dead Don’t Die right now.

We had the best time, though. New York will always have a special place in my heart, and it’s impossible to not have fun when you’re in Disneyland! Like typical Brits we didn’t cope well with the heat on the hottest days but we were so blessed with the weather. Our little girl Daisy has decided that churros are life (can’t blame her) and given the chance, she would move to live on the beach.

vacation-daisy-snacks

Just before we went away though, I’d fallen out of regular movie watching and struggled to write anything for the blog, but I’m feeling really excited to catch back up now! As soon as I can be confident of getting a good night’s sleep I’ll be racing to my local cinema to see It: Chapter Two, probably to be so scared that I won’t sleep again for another week.

I hope you guys are all doing well, and I’ll be catching up with all the blogs I follow this week!

Going Off Topic (#18) Summer Lovin’

I’ve been so active on the blog for a few months and yet I haven’t posted anything for a week. You know why? I haven’t watched a movie for a week! Can you believe it?! It’s down to two things. The first being the UK had a bit of a heatwave and I honestly almost melted. The other being I got sucked into the reality show Love Island which took away all of my almost non-existent free time. The final is tonight though so I’m hoping to get back into a regular schedule this week!

What’s coming up next month though is…my 30th Birthday! Urgh. I’m going to be 30. It feels weird to be hitting that milestone age but yet I don’t feel too badly about it. I’m married, I have a gorgeous and hilarious little toddler, we have a house and mortgage, and I feel fairly accomplished with that. Any chance of a career has been pushed aside but hey – you can’t have it all!

So on my 30th Birthday, 23rd August, I’ll be flying out on holiday with said husband and toddler, as well as my parents and littlest brother, to the USA! We’re going to New York for 4 nights and then over to California for 10 nights to do Disney, Universal and chill at the beaches. I honestly can’t wait. I obviously won’t be on the blog for those 2 weeks but I’ve got some of my reviews from my older blog scheduled so at least there will be something posted from here regularly whilst I’m gone.

In other news, I’m almost finished with S3 of Stranger Things. It’s been a slow start and I don’t think it’s better than S2 (yet!) but there have been some amazing moments so far, like Daddy Hopper and the antics at Scoops Ahoy. I’ve heard it ends with a bang so I’m looking forward to it! I’ve also made a start on S2 of Big Little Lies which is looking promising so far.

The cinema releases seem to be unusually quiet for this time of year, but I’m chalking that up to no one wanting to release anything at the same time as The Lion King. I might venture out to see The Current War just for the cast, but other than that there’s nothing worth seeing until this weekend when Hobbs & Shaw comes out! I’ve only seen 2 of the Fast & Furious movies but Hobbs & Shaw looks like so much fun – I can’t wait!

So thanks for bearing with me while I haven’t been around – I’ll be catching up real soon!