Lists

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2020

As the UK enters it’s THIRD national lockdown, and I’m clearly feeling grumpy, why not put that energy into listing the worst movies that 2020 brought? I’ll be back later this week with best movies but for now let’s focus on the mundane and downright awful. Thanks to streaming services there have still been plenty of movies released this year – of varying qualities.

I’m always nervous posting a worst movies list because there’s always something here that someone loves! I also seem to have gone against the crowd a lot this year, if the Twitter noise is anything to go by. So no hard feelings, okay?

As far as release dates go – if you see something in one of my lists and think it’s from a different year, just remember UK release dates can be completely different! Also – bonus points if you spot all the poop emojis.

2020 movies watched: 91
Movies that narrowly missed out: Antebellum, The Witches, Superintelligence, Songbird, Tesla, The Call of the Wild, Bloodshot, Dolittle, Brahms: The Boy II

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#10 Artemis Fowl – I’m not the target audience of this movie, I get it. But the best kids movies have something that appeals to adults and this…had nothing. Other than a horrifying Josh Gad dislocating his jaw to eat dirt and poor Judi Dench with the world’s sorest throat.

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#9 Fantasy Island – This is a shame because the idea was fun, and the movie wasn’t all terrible. Jetting off to a remote island in order to live out a fantasy of yours seems pretty ideal right now, huh? Some plot lines work, others don’t, but the characters are just downright terrible.

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#8 I’m Thinking of Ending Things – Now is when I start to get anxious. I know this is a widely loved movie. Since reading many other reviews I also understand the movie a whole lot better. But I stand by it being included in this list. I don’t mind a movie being so confusing it needs a second watch but if it’s so dull that I can’t even bring myself to give it another go then it’s just not going to work.

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#7 Rebecca – Reviews for this one are all over the place so I don’t know if mine is a popular opinion or not. If anything I’ve made a mental note to watch the original 1940 Hitchcock version. This remake was just…boring. There’s nothing particularly bad about it, but it felt about 3 hours long.

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#6 365 Days – We all watched this out of morbid curiosity, didn’t we? If you hated the Fifty Shades trilogy then boy…you’re either going to want to avoid this like the plague or hate-watch it with a very large drink!

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#5 Desperados – Huge thank you to Letterboxd and it’s Diary feature because if it wasn’t for the fact I log every movie I watch Ii would have forgotten about this movie all together. I remember it stars Aly and Winston from New Girl and that’s why I watched it but other than that? I can only assume it’s a terrible romcom that fades into nothingness.

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#4 She Dies Tomorrow – This is the exception to the rule, I don’t feel anxious at all telling you how much I hated this. The idea is great, I’ve never seen anything like it, but to be it’s the absolute definition of style over substance.

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#3 After We Collided – Clearly I’m now officially an old person because I had no idea this series was such a big deal. I saw at in the brief summer window that cinemas reopened and made sure I watched the original first. That one was actually a decent watch but this sequel? It felt like Fifty Shades for young teens…wrong on every level!

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#2 Ava – This movie is just downright disappointing in every single way. It’s a spy movie, so how is it so mind numbingly boring? It also boasts a stellar cast including Jessica Chastain, John Malkovich and Colin Farrell. It doesn’t feel like anyone is phoning in their performance here but still – ugh.

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#1 Wild Mountain Thyme – Maybe this takes the top spot because it’s the most recent in my mind but it still very much deserves it’s place in this list. Wild Mountain Thyme feels like a TV movie broadcast in the middle of the night with a target audience of insomniacs simply needing to pass the time. And yet it’s not. I thought Alex Baldwin had a dodgy Irish accent in this year’s Pixie (2020) but Christopher Walken manages to speak only around 1 in 5 words with an actual accent. It’s…magnificently bad. The moment that firmly plants this movie though is Jamie Dornan’s confession towards the very end. I won’t spoil it, but ask me in the comments if you want to know without suffering through this movie.

Movie Reviews

After We Collided (2020)

after-we-collided-movie-review-posterDirector: Roger Kumble

Genre: Drama, Romance

Runtime: 105 Minutes

Main Cast: Josephine Langford, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Louise Lombard, Dylan Sprouse, Candice King, Charlie Weber, Shane Paul McGhie, Inanna Sarkis

Plot: Set just a few months after the original movie After (2019), when Tessa (Josephine Langford) and Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin) have broken up. Tessa is getting on with her life, about to start her internship at Vance Publishing while Hardin is struggling to stay afloat without her.

My Thoughts: We’re getting a really slow trickle of new movies into cinemas in the UK and this was one of them. I’ve never heard of it before but my bestie text me the night the tickets were released was like, we NEED to go and see this, and well, who am I to say no? I had to give myself a crash course in the movie, it’s prequel, and the books the movies are based on so let me tell you what little I know. There are 5 books in the After series, written by Anna Todd. They were originally published on Wattpad as Harry Styles fanfiction. Man, where did I go wrong? I wish teenage Allie knew she could have made a career out of writing fanfiction!

I’ll admit, I caught up on the original movie on Netflix and I quite liked it. It was easy, guilty pleasure watching for me. Full of every cliche known to man in the genre but for me it was movie evuivalent to comfort food. I was quietly looking forward to the sequel and clearly a lot of people are because the screen was busier than the opening night of Tenet at our local! We um…kind of hated it. The first 20 minutes at least felt like a blatant rip off of Fifty Shades Darker (2017) but for a teenage audience. Which was, of course, also based on fanfiction…of Twilight. (Is everything leading back to Robert Pattinson for me right now?). Wild, right? I lost count of the sex scenes eventually and the whole experience was just a bit…awkward.

The whole movie is so choppy, one minute Tessa and Hardin are together again, next they fall out, then they’re together again, then they fall out again. Back and forth, over and over again. Maybe we’re just 10 years too old for this series, maybe our teenage selves would have fallen head over heels in love with Hardin but the reality is, Hardin is messed up, he’s no good for Tessa and the two of them need to stay apart. Will we be back for the 2 already confirmed sequels? Yes, we’re committed to this car crash now (sorry Steph).

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Best Bit: I can’t help but get sucked in to the drama, so when Tessa agreed to go along to the New Years party at the frat house and got her own back on that total bitch Molly? I was there for it. Yas, Tessa!

Worst Bit: You know who I haven’t mentioned yet? The adorable, geeky Trevor (Dylan Sprouse). He works at Vance Publishing, is a shy, beautiful nerd and is clearly in love with Tessa. He tries to make a move on her so many times and every single time I wanted to shake Tessa and tell her what a blind idiot she is. #TeamTrevor

Fun Trivia: Roger Kumble directed Cruel Intentions (1999), a film with a plot often compared to the one of Anna Todd’s After. Selma Blair, who plays Carol Young, also starred in Cruel Intentions as Cecile Caldwell.

My Rating: 1 pair of Victoria’s Secret undies. I’m dying to know how much that product placement deal cost, it was painfully obvious!

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