Movie Reviews

Songbird (2020)

songbird-movie-poster-review-2020Director: Adam Mason

Genre: Thriller, Drama, Romance

Runtime: 84 Minutes

Main Cast: K.J. Apa, Sofia Carson, Craig Robinson, Bradley Whitford, Peter Stormare, Alexandra Daddario, Paul Walter Hauser, Demi Moore, Jenna Ortega

Plot: The year is 2024, and the world is suffering with COVID-23. Nico (K.J. Apa) is one of the very few who are immune, and works as a courier. When the situation turns dire, he turns to desperate measures to help his girlfriend Sara (Sofia Carson) escape.

My Thoughts: Are we ready for a COVID-related disaster movie? Not really, let’s be honest. Songbird didn’t necessarily want to be the best, but it did want to be first. Sadly there’s a little horror movie called Host (2020) which already owns that title. I’m a sucker for bad movies though, don’t ask me why, and with the situation in the UK what it is I thought it might be nice to escape to a fictional Earth where things are somehow worse, to make me feel better. It achieved that at least, and as much as it wasn’t a good movie, Songbird entertained me enough.

Thing is, when you’re living in a pandemic, you know the ins and outs. So a fictional movie isn’t going to pull the wool over your eyes. COVID-23 is so bad that you’ll actually be shot on sight for leaving your home. Those who are immune have jobs as couriers delivering packages to the rich. The whole time I was asking, yeah but how to people get groceries?! These people have fridges full of alcohol, where are they getting it from? The real villain here though isn’t the virus, it’s the Head of Sanitization. Get ready for the most over-the-top villain you’ve ever seen. I actually expected him to burst into song at one point, it was so corny.

Silliness aside though, give it a few years and we’ll probably have a better COVID movie, like it or not. Think Contagion (2011), but probably starring Dwayne Johnson. Songbird was just clearly thrown together as quickly as possible. There’s some good stuff there, I was intrigued by the Q-Zone. Basically, you get tested every day through an app on your phone and if you test positive, the hazmats take you away to this Q-Zone. We never even got to see it though apart from a few aerial shots from a distance. It’s not a total disaster, but only watch it if you’re up for having a bit of a laugh with it.

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Best Bit: Forget the main love story, I was there for Alexandra Daddario. She instantly makes any terrible movie a whole lot better. Although, she does have in her possession the most useless face mask in history…

Worst Bit: Finally getting around to writing your review for this movie on the same night the Prime Minister informs us of a new, dangerous COVID strain – paving for the way for Lockdown 3, whilst the rest of the world slowly cuts off our tiny, infested island. Sigh.

Fun Trivia: SAG-AFTRA issued a “Do not work” order on Songbird, telling its members to refuse any work on the film.

My Rating: 2 out of 5 Whopper burgers. RIP, Burger King…

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Movie Reviews

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

godzilla-king-of-the-monsters-2019-movieDirector: Michael Dougherty

Genre: Action, Sci-Fi

Runtime: 132 Minutes

Main Cast: Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Ken Watanabe, Ziyi Zhang, Bradley Whitford, Sally Hawkins, Charles Dance, Thomas Middleditch, Aisha Hinds

Plot: Following on from the events of 2014’s Godzilla, crypto-zoological agency Monarch are left defending themselves against criticism from the government as well as a bigger threat in the form of the three-headed King Ghidorah.

My Thoughts: I knew I would regret not seeing this in the cinema. Not because it was a cinematic masterpiece, in fact, it was far from it, but the monster scenes are just so damn cool. Yes, they’re quite dark – although not nearly as dark as I expected after all the reviews, or maybe I was remembering that GoT episode where I could see naff all – but I’d rather that than be able to see too much CGI.

Where it falls flat however are the humans. I’m quite happy to have a story arc there, it’s needed to be honest otherwise the movie would be an assault on the senses, but I just didn’t care enough about any of the characters other than Madison, played by Millie Bobby Brown. Also, it could well be because I’m a big fan of hers because of Stranger Things, but I felt like she out-acted everyone else there without even trying. She’s too good for this movie.

At the end of the day though, I watched King of the Monsters because I wanted to see destruction and monsters, and I got plenty of that. I wasn’t bored at any point (although I did keep checking Twitter to see who won Love Island) and so really…my expectations were met! Am I crazily excited for the next Godzilla movie? Not really. Will I go and see it anyway? Absolutely – and I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.

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Best Bit: I’d heard that Mothra was a fan favourite but wow – isn’t she just stunning? In fact, all of the monsters are stunning. I also loved how in the credits, the monsters are listed with the other characters and are credited as playing themselves. That made me chuckle.

Worst Bit: Was I meant to laugh when that pilot ejected himself from his jet to avoid being eaten only to fly up into the monster’s jaws and get devoured? Because I did. That was hilarious. Also – anything that came out of Dr. Rick Stanton’s mouth made me cringe. What a gross character.

Fun Trivia: On the map showing the monarch sites for all the found titans, there is an area over Scotland as a nod towards the Loch Ness monster.

My Rating: 3 and a half moths fluttering around your bedroom at night. Just be glad they’re normal-sized…

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