Movie Reviews

Songbird (2020)

songbird-movie-poster-review-2020Director: Adam Mason

Genre: Thriller, Drama, Romance

Runtime: 84 Minutes

Main Cast: K.J. Apa, Sofia Carson, Craig Robinson, Bradley Whitford, Peter Stormare, Alexandra Daddario, Paul Walter Hauser, Demi Moore, Jenna Ortega

Plot: The year is 2024, and the world is suffering with COVID-23. Nico (K.J. Apa) is one of the very few who are immune, and works as a courier. When the situation turns dire, he turns to desperate measures to help his girlfriend Sara (Sofia Carson) escape.

My Thoughts: Are we ready for a COVID-related disaster movie? Not really, let’s be honest. Songbird didn’t necessarily want to be the best, but it did want to be first. Sadly there’s a little horror movie called Host (2020) which already owns that title. I’m a sucker for bad movies though, don’t ask me why, and with the situation in the UK what it is I thought it might be nice to escape to a fictional Earth where things are somehow worse, to make me feel better. It achieved that at least, and as much as it wasn’t a good movie, Songbird entertained me enough.

Thing is, when you’re living in a pandemic, you know the ins and outs. So a fictional movie isn’t going to pull the wool over your eyes. COVID-23 is so bad that you’ll actually be shot on sight for leaving your home. Those who are immune have jobs as couriers delivering packages to the rich. The whole time I was asking, yeah but how to people get groceries?! These people have fridges full of alcohol, where are they getting it from? The real villain here though isn’t the virus, it’s the Head of Sanitization. Get ready for the most over-the-top villain you’ve ever seen. I actually expected him to burst into song at one point, it was so corny.

Silliness aside though, give it a few years and we’ll probably have a better COVID movie, like it or not. Think Contagion (2011), but probably starring Dwayne Johnson. Songbird was just clearly thrown together as quickly as possible. There’s some good stuff there, I was intrigued by the Q-Zone. Basically, you get tested every day through an app on your phone and if you test positive, the hazmats take you away to this Q-Zone. We never even got to see it though apart from a few aerial shots from a distance. It’s not a total disaster, but only watch it if you’re up for having a bit of a laugh with it.

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Best Bit: Forget the main love story, I was there for Alexandra Daddario. She instantly makes any terrible movie a whole lot better. Although, she does have in her possession the most useless face mask in history…

Worst Bit: Finally getting around to writing your review for this movie on the same night the Prime Minister informs us of a new, dangerous COVID strain – paving for the way for Lockdown 3, whilst the rest of the world slowly cuts off our tiny, infested island. Sigh.

Fun Trivia: SAG-AFTRA issued a “Do not work” order on Songbird, telling its members to refuse any work on the film.

My Rating: 2 out of 5 Whopper burgers. RIP, Burger King…

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Movie Reviews

Review: Table 19 (2017)

table-19-movie-review-2017
Can we at least agree this is one of the most beautiful movie posters ever?

Last year was all about weddings for me. I had my own, and then I was a bridesmaid for 2 of my bridesmaids! 4 weddings in one year where you’re organising 1 yourself and you’re a big part of another 2 is exhausting, and now I have no weddings to go to this year. It’s kind of a relief, and kind of sad too, so I’ve been really looking forward to watching Table 19 and just sitting back, to enjoy the festivities.

Table 1 obviously hosts the Bride, Groom and parents, and the level of importance carries on right down the line to the very last table, in this case, 19. This is the table of ‘people who should have known to RSVP no’. We have the Best Man’s ex-girlfriend (Anna Kendrick), the Bride’s childhood nanny (June Squibb), someone’s odd cousin (Stephen Merchant), the son of a friend who’s mother is trying to get him laid (Tony Revolori) and a married couple from work who aren’t important enough for the work table (Lisa Kudrow and Craig Robinson).

If you’ve heard of this movie, you might have heard about the luke-warm reviews it’s been getting. I tried not to read too much in case it clouded my judgement but let me tell you, I actually kind of loved it. I’m biased because I have a huge lady boner for Anna Kendrick, but there’s so much more to this story than meets the eye. It looks like a simple enough plot, the table of losers realise they’re losers and find a way to have fun despite the fact – right?

TABLE 19

Well yes, but for a movie with such a small run time we really get inside each of these characters lives. There’s a huge plot line completely hidden in the trailer that I juuust worked out before the reveal, which adds a huge dramatic element to the whole thing. I’ll save the surprise for you to see for yourself.

It’s funny, in quite a dark way. Whereas a lot of movies struggle to find a balance between comedy and drama, I think Table 19 nailed it. Something will happen that will have you laughing out loud, and it’ll be followed so quickly by something serious that it completely throws you off balance. In fact, I was still laughing at parts despite the darkness. It’s overwhelming, and perhaps that contributes to the negative reviews, but I thought it fit the mood perfectly. That sounds contradicting I know, but in some movies you’ll have one hilarious scene, and 20 minutes later a serious, pull on your heart strings kind of scene, and it’s confusing. Table 19 fuses the two together.

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This joke about the jacket never got old. I’m laughing just thinking about it!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a perfect movie. It feels quite long despite its run time, there are a few loose ends here and there, and I feel like everyone¬†got some closure with their issues apart from Stephen Merchant’s character. It’s quite over-dramatic and cheesy in places, but the whole movie is like that, so although those scenes don’t feel out of place in the grand scheme of things, if that kind of drama level is a turn off for you then you’re going to hate the whole thing.

Oh and one more thing – with my wedding organising hat still on – who was in charge of the running of the day here?! Sitting everyone down for their meal, having a band play, the married couple’s first dance, then sitting again? WHERE IS THE FOOD YOU GUYS.

All in all, I’d recommend that you ignore a lot of reviews (heck, even this one if you like) and see it for yourself. Who knows, you might even enjoy it! Table 19 gets 4 out of 5 wedding cakes from me, and I realise this is the second time this week I’ve rated movies out of cake, but I’m pregnant and I just really like cake, okay?

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