Movie Reviews

The Suicide Squad (2021)

the-suicide-squad-movie-review-poster-2021Director: James Gunn

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi

Runtime: 132 Minutes

Main Cast: Margot Robbie, Idris Elba, John Cena, Joel Kinnaman, Viola Davis, Daniela Melchior, Sylvester Stallone, David Dastmalchian, Peter Capaldi, Jai Courtney

Plot: A group of super villains are recruited by Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) to destroy the evidence of Project Starfish. If any of them refuse or stray from their mission, the kill switch is hit and they’ll be terminated.

My Thoughts: So I guess Warner Bros are taking a page from Disney’s book and remaking all their movies, huh? Maybe if they just got things right in the first place we wouldn’t be here but in this instance I’m grateful, because this is the Suicide Squad movie we all wanted back in 2016. It’s loud, it’s dumb, it’s funny, it’s gory, and it has a surprising amount of heart that I absolutely wasn’t expecting. No introductions needed, this movie throws us straight into the action and we’re barely minutes into the runtime before the body count starts. Heck yeah!

Margot Robbie slays it as Harley Quinn as always. What does a girl have to do to get a Gotham City Sirens movie, y’all?! Idris Elba was an excellent addition to the squad and has some of the more heartfelt moments as well as the funniest. Plus, he’s delicious. Sorry. King Shark (Sylvester Stallone) was destined to be a fan favourite after his moments in the trailer and he doesn’t disappoint. One of the best cinematic moments ever is when he gloriously picks up a man and tears him in half. That felt epic just to type! The characters who surprised me most were Ratcatcher 2 and Polka-Dot Man. Who would have thought I’d be caring so much for a girl who controls rats and a guy who throws polka-dots?!

Basically, what I’m trying to say here is this cast rocks. Even John Cena delivers, and that’s saying something. It’s just such a shame that Warner Bros handle everything so badly, because it’s tainted the run-up to the movie for me. I can’t wait to watch it again, though. It has everything I want from a comic book movie, or any movie really.

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Best Bit: It’s basically impossible to pick just one moment. Bloodsport and Peacemaker slaughtering a village and making obscene gestures at each other. TDK and…that. Harley Quinn saving her own damn ass and not needing anyone’s help. Nom nom! Idris Elba just existing. The options are endless!

Worst Bit: I’m nitpicking now because I enjoyed the movie so much. But I adore Viola Davis and when all the other characters were so fleshed out, hers is one dimensional and I’d have loved to have seen what it is that drives her to be the cold-hearted agent that she is. Also, the end-credits scene was a bit meh, but that’s really all I can fault!

Fun Trivia: James Gunn wasn’t refused permission to use any character he wanted. However, he purposely chose to use mostly lesser known characters. In a tweet Gunn wrote, “I considered many more well-known heroes and outlaws but I wanted to stick with Ostrander’s original vision of mostly second-rate antagonists.”

My Rating: 4 and a half starfish which, you know, is slang for butthole…

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Movie Reviews

Fast & Furious 9 (2021)

fast-furious-9-2021-movie-review-posterDirector: Justin Lin

Genre: Action, Adventure, Crime

Runtime: 145 Minutes

Main Cast: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, John Cena, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Nathalie Emmanuel, Charlize Theron, Sung Kang, Helen Mirren, Kurt Russell

Plot: 9 movies in and Dominic Toretto’s team have only just discovered that Dom has a long lost brother (John Cena), who just to happens to be a deadly assassin and a great driver, with a plan to take over the world. It involves some crazy magnets and a high-tech gadget that wouldn’t look out of place in a Star Wars movie.

My Thoughts: I apologise in advance, I have no right to be reviewing the latest installment in the Fast & Furious saga. I’ve only seen 2 of the other movies (3 if Hobbs & Shaw counts) and as a result I have next to no idea who most of the characters are or what’s happened over the years. However! I had a blast watching this new one and it would feel like an injustice to ignore it, so it’s a bit of a loss/loss situation. I’m marking this whole post as SPOILERS just because I genuinely don’t know what could be a spoiler or what would be common knowledge to a fan. It was so great to be in a busy cinema again, it was the biggest crowd since January 2020.

When it comes to movies like this, I just want some dumb fun, and I got that in spades. F9 doesn’t take itself seriously at all. In fact, it’s quite meta and even pokes fun at the fact that these characters seem to just survive anything. And when it comes to anything, we’re talking about driving cars off cliffs and being caught by planes, having fist fights on top of speeding cars and, well, driving into SPACE. How can they actually top that?!

The acting is questionable at best, but everyone involved looks like they’re having so much fun that it has to be forgiven. I also have to give kudos because I can’t sit through long movies without fidgeting, even ones I love, and I never would have guessed this one was a few minutes short of being 2 and a half hours. That time really flew by. I’m going to have to fill in the gaps at some point because I feel like there’s going to be many more of these movies…

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Best Bit: This should probably be classed as a worst bit but I just love those magnets. They’re the core to some really great fight scenes but I just have to laugh at how they work. Somehow, every time a character turns them on they only seem to attract whatever metal is needed at the time.

Worst Bit: I can forgive so much – I won’t even question rocketing a car into space but my brain can’t fully switch off and I find myself asking questions like, who the hell is looking after that kid?! How does Charlize Theron go to the toilet in that see-through box?

Fun Trivia: Tyrese Gibson announced on November 1, 2017 that he would not be in this movie if Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson were in it. The two did not get along and Tyrese refused to work with him (November 2017). When Johnson announced that he would pass on this movie, Gibson’s participation was ensured again.

My Rating: 3 and a half pairs of Crocs that I ordered three weeks ago, damn-it! (That’s a really obscure reference to this movie – I’ve never owned a pair of Crocs, just for the record…)

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Movie Reviews

Dolittle (2020)

dolittle-movie-review-2020-posterDirector: Stephen Gaghan

Genre: Comedy, Family, Adventure

Runtime: 101 Minutes

Main Cast: Robert Downey Jr, Antonio Banderas, Michael Sheen, Jim Broadbent, Jessie Buckley, Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, John Cena, Kumail Nanjiani, Octavia Spencer, Tom Holland, Craig Robinson, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Mantzoukas

Plot: John Dolittle, famed doctor and veterinarian with a talent of speaking to animals, turned to a life of seclusion after losing his wife. His peace is disturbed one day when a young boy turns up at his door with an injured squirrel, as well as a young girl summoning him to save the Queen who is on her deathbed.

My Thoughts: Doctor Dolittle (1998) is one of my childhood favourites, so I was always going to be interested to see this remake/reimagining. By the sounds of it, this newer version stays much truer to the original source book. And look at that cast list! I usually chop down the list to just the main, big names, but that’s impossible in this case. How on earth all these names signed up for this movie is beyond me. Some of them are instantly recognisable, like Jason Mantzoukas, very much playing himself…if he were a dragonfly.

Let me get to the point – you’ve probably read a lot of negativity surrounding this movie, and I’m not going to try and change anyone’s mind. I still can’t work out where in the UK Robert Downey Jr.’s accent was meant to be from, but he seemed to struggle with it so much he never expressed a single emotion throughout the whole movie. It feels very much like he’s turning up just to collect his paycheck. It’s all very silly and predictable.

BUT. This movie wasn’t made with most of us in mind. It’s a movie for children. And I’m sure children will love watching a dog in glasses dragging its butt across the floor, a gorilla kick a tiger in his private parts, a grown man pulling objects out of a dragon’s ass, and a polar bear complaining about being cold all the time. There are a few adult jokes scattered throughout to keep the parents chuckling, and I’m sure it’ll be a hit this half-term in the UK.

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Best Bit: In the credits, they show a shot of each of the animals along with the name of who voiced them, and my friend Steph and I turned to each other at the same time when Chee-Chee the gorilla came up and went “THAT WAS RAMI MALEK?” It’s almost enough to need to see it again.

Worst Bit: I’ve already mentioned it but seriously, what accent was that? I’d decided it must have been Scottish, and then I read someone else’s’ review where they said it was Welsh! I should know, shouldn’t I? And yet I’m clueless.

Fun Trivia: Nicolas Cage turned down the role of King Rassouli.

My Rating: 2 out of 5 bagpipes which were retrieved from…well, I think you can guess where.

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Movie Reviews

Blockers (2018)

blockers-movie-poster-review-2018Director: Kay Cannon

Genre: Comedy

Runtime: 102 Minutes

Main Cast: Leslie Mann, John Cena, Ike Barinholtz, Kathryn Newton, Geraldine Viswanathan, Gideon Adlon, Graham Phillips, Miles Robbins, Jimmy Bellinger

Plot: Three parents try to stop their teenage daughters from having sex on prom night after making a pact to all lose their virginity.

My Thoughts: I remember seeing the first trailer for Blockers, and just shaking my head knowing that it would be another of 2018’s terrible comedies. I didn’t even give it a second thought after that until recently when everyone I know seems to have seen it and loved it! That was enough for me to give it a go and see what the fuss was about. Whilst it’s not going to be in my Top 10 of 2018 anytime soon, it was so much better than it had any right to be.

There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, including one scene in particular which introduced me to an activity I’d never heard of before, ‘butt chugging’. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is. I also got to feel like the old person I am discovering that all these emoji’s have hidden meanings. Who knew, eh!

On a serious note though, the story did drag a bit for me towards the end but it really is a decent comedy, and actually has a lot of heartfelt moments which tied in nicely, rather than sticking out like a sore thumb. If you’re looking for something fun to watch this weekend, you could do a lot worse than giving this a go.

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Best Bit: John Cena and Ike Barinholtz sneaking their way into a house and accidentally taking part in a rather rude game involving blindfolds. I wanted to look away in horror but my eyes were glued to the screen!

Worst Bit: Realising that I have a daughter and that this movie may become reality for me in the future…

Fun Trivia: The backyard party scenes were filmed using the same set/location as Fences (2016), including the fence built by Denzel Washington’s character.
(I stopped reading any more trivia after spotting this because I just found it so hilarious!)

My Rating: 3 and a half out of 5 eggplant emojis which I hope I’ve never sent to anyone not realising what they really mean…

blockers-movie-review-eggplant-emoji

Blogathons · Lists

Mt. Rushmore of Movies Blogathon

I really need a break from watching that clip of Jimmy Kimmel getting the orchestra to play Matt Damon off the stage from the Oscars last Sunday, it’s becoming unhealthy, and I have a headache from laughing too much. Thankfully, the ever hilarious M.Brown at Two Dollar Cinema is running a fantastic blogathon to distract me!

mt-rushmore-of-movies-blogathon-banner

If you’re not following Two Dollar Cinema already then you really ought to be. His movie reviews are so much fun to read, and I guarantee you his ‘Yays’ and ‘Boos’ will have you laughing out loud!

Anyway, onto this Blogathon! To celebrate Presidents Day, M.Brown has invited us all to create our own Mt Rushmore of movies. It’s entirely in our hands what we pick! This Blogathon last took place 3 years ago (before I was even blogging) so I had a read through all the previous entries and oh boy, I’ve got my work cut out for me. You guys are so creative! But I’m going to give this a try. If you’d like to take part too, you’ve got until this Friday, so check out the original post here.

So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to the Mt Rushmore of Movie Cameos! Not just any old cameos, I’ll have you know, but the kind that make you jump in your seat with glee because you had no idea they were going to show up.

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Bill Murray – Zombieland (2009)

When you’re on the run from a zombie apocalypse in the middle of Hollywood, how are you going to find a good place to hide? Use a map of the star’s homes and find where Bill Murray used to live, of course. The only issue with that is it turned out that Bill Murray was still very much alive, disguising himself as a zombie in order to ‘blend in’, and allowing himself to be able to freely wander the city. What you shouldn’t do during a zombie apocalypse? Try to scare your gun-wielding friend. RIP, Bill Murray.

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John Cena – Daddy’s Home (2015)

I’ll be the first to admit that Daddy’s Home was a terrible movie. It was terrible the first time I watched it, and when I was forced to watch it a second time on a plane (one of those older ones with the shared TV in the aisle) I could have cried. What made it worse was all the R-Rated jokes were cut out of the plane version! However, I am an absolute sucker for those John Cena videos doing the rounds a couple of years ago, and so when he turned up at the end of Daddy’s Home, all was almost forgiven!

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Tom Cruise – Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

Who can forget the opening credits to Goldmember, which looked like something straight out of Mission: Impossible? Wait…dammit. Then I guess I should have seen it coming when it turned out that Austin Powers was being played by Tom Cruise! The weirdest part was that he looked the part completely! Of course, there were plenty of cameos in this movie, but we can only fit 4 heads onto Mt Rushmore!

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Ryan Reynolds – A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

This is a personal guilty pleasure of mine. After showing up in a previous Seth MacFarlane movie, I was hoping Ryan Reynolds might show up, but I didn’t expect him to. When, in a Western bar, he did make an appearance, I literally squealed (in a cinema of all places) and then made some odd, disappointed sound which I can’t describe with a keyboard when he was instantly killed by Liam Neeson. Sigh.

Honourable mentions go to nearly everyone in This Is the End (2013), because I could have made this entire post about that movie and still struggled to pick just 4!