Movie Reviews

Uncut Gems (2019)

uncut-gems-2019-netflix-movie-reviewDirector: Benny Safdie, Josh Safdie

Genre: Crime, Drama, Thriller

Runtime: 135 Minutes

Main Cast: Adam Sandler, Julia Fox, Lakeith Stanfield, Adele Dazeem Idina Menzel, Kevin Garnett, Judd Hirsch, John Amos, Trinidad James

Plot: Howard is a charismatic gems dealer who is up to his eyeballs in debt. When he gets his hands on an extremely rare Ethiopian uncut rock of gems, he makes a series of high-stake bets which don’t go to plan.

My Thoughts: I’m having a scroll through my Twitter feed and can see everyone talking about a new Adam Sandler movie, called Uncut Gems. I’m confused, for two reasons. One, from the poster I thought it was a documentary. Two, everyone was saying how amazing it was, and that Sandler should have been nominated for an Oscar. Am I in the Bad Place? I didn’t know Adam Sandler could act! Colour me intrigued.

I’ve watched movies that have made me happy, movies that have made me sad, scared, sometimes even sick, but I don’t think I’ve watched anything that’s made me feel so stressed before! My husband walked in at around the halfway point and asked what was going on, and at that point I was like, I don’t know what to tell you! This Howard guy makes terrible choices and everyone is just shouting all the time!

I liked it though. It’s kind of impossible to not get sucked into Howard’s life, but I couldn’t decide if I wanted to see him win or fail. He’s a bit of a jerk but his bets were so crazy I knew there would be a sense of wonder if he did actually pull it off in the end. As for Adam Sandler himself, I don’t know if I would call his performance Oscar-worthy, but it’s definitely the best performance I’ve seen of his.

uncut-gems-2019-adam-sandler

Best Bit: So many of the loud, shouty scenes merged into one in my mind but there’s this moment where Howard’s on the phone to at least 2 different people, Lakeith Stanfield is also shouting at him, everyone is rushing around and then the poor fish are almost murdered. That’s definitely the stand-out scene for sure.

Worst Bit: The door to Howard’s shop is definitely up there with the door to the cabin in The Hateful Eight in the list of ass***e doors. One won’t open, the other won’t shut!

Fun Trivia: Uncut Gems features the 4th most f-words in film history, exactly 408 times.

My Rating: 3 and a half fake Rolex’s…you’ll have to shout louder than everyone else in this movie to complain about them, though!

uncut-gems-fake-rolex-2019

Movie Reviews

Knives Out (2019)

knives-out-movie-review-2019-posterDirector: Rian Johnson

Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama

Runtime: 130 Minutes

Main Cast: Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Don Johnson, Toni Collette, Lakeith Stanfield, Christopher Plummer, Katherine Langford

Plot: In the morning following his birthday, Harlan Thrombey is found dead. The police have ruled the case as suicide but private detective Benoit Blanc has been annonymous hired by someone who suspects foul play. The entire family is called together before Harlan’s will is released for more questioning.

My Thoughts: My husband claims he reads all of my posts, I can guarantee he won’t read this one – he’s sick of me talking about Knives Out! I’ve been waiting for this movie for months. If you know me, you know I love a murder mystery, and I feel like Rian Johnson knew that and directed it just for me. I’ve only ever read one Agatha Christie novel (it was tough) but if you’re a fan this is definitely the movie for you.

One family, all together on one night. Several arguments happen during the party. But one was much worse than the others. One caused a family member to murder another…but who? And why? Daniel Craig is going to find out, and oh boy I hope he carries on taking these funny roles. I don’t give a monkeys about James Bond – this is the kind of role he should be taking on! I worried early on that the movie had played it’s hand far too soon, to be honest it’s still my only concern, but there are still many twists along the way.

And whilst I know my husband isn’t reading I can tell you this. He’s always annoyingly spot on when guessing secret murderers but he was wrong this time! Turns out he’s only human, after all. Mum if you’re reading, you were right! Kind of. You’ll know what I mean when you watch it yourself, but I bet you’ve already forgotten who you picked when I showed you poster, right?

knives-out-2019-harlan-family

Best Bit: I have many favourite parts I can’t talk about for spoiler reasons, but the MVP of the family has to be Greatnana Wanetta. She only has like, 3 lines, but they’re glorious. She’s amazing (and terrifying) even when she doesn’t speak.
Also, I need to share some appreciation for Chris Evans in chunky knitwear ❤

Worst Bit: I panicked for a full 10 minutes when Marta threw up in that cup and then put it back in the cup holder before Benoit Blanc got into the passengers seat. I was expecting something seriously gross to happen and whilst I’m so glad it didn’t, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME?!

Fun Trivia: The police detective heard on the television series Marta’s sister is watching is voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. (Billed in the film’s Credits as Detective Hardrock) Gordon-Levitt has appeared in all five of the films Rian Johnson has directed.

My Rating: 4 and a half buckets of fried chicken, because ever since Benoit Blanc was referred to as CSI KFC, I’ve been craving one.

knives-out-review-detective-csi-kfc

Movie Reviews

Sorry to Bother You (2018)

sorry-to-bother-you-movie-review-2018Director: Boots Riley

Genre: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Comedy

Runtime: 105 Minutes

Main Cast: Lakeith Stanfield, Tessa Thompson, Jermaine Fowler, Omari Hardwick, Terry Crews, Patton Oswalt, David Cross, Danny Glover, Steven Yeun, Armie Hammer, Mahari Crown, Lily James

Plot: Set in an alternate present-day version of Oakland, telemarketer Cassius Green learns the secret to success, using his “white voice”, which propels him into…madness! That’s the best job I can do in summing up this crazy movie.

My Thoughts: I got to see Sorry to Bother You over a week before it’s UK release thanks to ODEON Screen Unseen! The clues are usually ridiculously cryptic but I was pretty certain it was going to be this, although I was just as certain last time and that didn’t end very well. There were quite a few cheers when the secret movie was revealed so I guess it wasn’t only me who was really looking forward to it!

I thought I had seen the weirdest movie ever when I watched The Lobster. Then I thought the same when I watched Swiss Army Man. Oh boy, Sorry to Bother You is going to hold that award for a long time yet! I was ready for weird, I already knew about the “white voice”, but I was so not ready for what I witnessed. I’ve let it sink in for 48 hours now and I’m still not sure what I really think.

What I am certain about however is that I need to see it again. There are so many tiny details crammed in that I know it’ll be a great rewatch. One thing I didn’t miss however were Tessa Thompson’s dildo earrings! Again, not even close to being the craziest thing about this movie!

sorry-to-bother-you-lakeith-stanfield-danny-glover

Best Bit: I absolutely loved the scene where Cassius is taken into the golden elevator. I thought that sequence code was going to go on forever, and it made me and the rest of the screen really laugh. Oh, oh, I just remembered…have a cola and smile, bitch! Do you think my husband would be mad at me if I threw a can of Pepsi at him and shouted that?

Worst Bit: There isn’t a specific part that I didn’t enjoy, but I did nod off slightly when it came to Detroit’s art show. I’m not an arty person myself so it just didn’t make a lot of sense to me.

Fun Trivia: During the bar scene, when Danny Glover’s character is asked why he isn’t dancing, he responds with the, “I’m too old for this shit” line made famous from his role as Roger Murtaugh in the Lethal Weapon movie franchise.

My Rating: This rating is bound to change because I feel like it’s the kind of movie that will grow on me with time, but for now it gets 3 and a half out of 5 jade doors…not olive doors, jade doors!

sorry-to-bother-you-jade-door-olive-door

Movie Reviews

Short Term 12 (2013)

short-term-12-movie-review-2013

Director: Destin Daniel Cretton

Main Cast: Brie Larson, John Gallagher Jr, Stephanie Beatriz, Rami Malek, Kevin Balmore, Lakeith Stanfield, Frantz Turner, Kaitlyn Dever

Genre: Drama

Plot: Grace works at a residential treatment facility with her boyfriend Mason. A lot of the children there are troubled, and as Grace helps each of them, a new arrival ends up bringing up painful memories for her, and her usually tough exterior begins to crumble, causing a rift between her and Mason.

My Thoughts: This is the first movie knocked off my watch list! And oh boy did I start with a good one. It’s a shame I know the rest of the list won’t be this good. I didn’t think I would find a movie that would tug on my heartstrings as much as The Florida Project (2017) did, but my heart really ached watching Short Term 12.

There are a few comedic moments, like when poor Rami Malek shows up for his first day at work to be confronted with a kid running and screaming to escape. Talk about first impressions! Other than that though, I think I cried no less than 3 times. It’s horrible to think that although this is a movie, what these kids go through actually happens out there in the real world.

It’s not like I didn’t know it before, but Brie Larson is an absolute superstar. She didn’t pick up enough awards for her performance here – she should have taken home an Oscar!

short-term-12-brie-larson-lakeith-stanford

Best Bit: The rap that Lakeith Standfield performs. It was so moving and powerful – if it was released as an actual record I’d buy it. And by buy it, I mean I would stream it on Spotify. Does anyone still buy records?

Worst Bit: Kaitlyn Dever reading her story about the octopus aloud. Not because it was a bad moment in the movie, but because my heart broke into a million pieces during it, and my sniffing almost woke up my napping baby.

Fun Trivia: To try and convince director Destin Daniel Cretton to cast her, Brie Larson told him that she had applied to volunteer with disadvantaged children after reading the script in order to research the role. Cretton was impressed and Larson did not reveal until later that she had been rejected by every organisation she had applied to.

My Rating: 4 and a half octopuses (octopi?) out of 5. Please don’t ask them to cut their arms off – I can’t take any more sorrow.

short-term-12-octopus-story