Blind Spot Series: Heat (1995)

heat-movie-review-1995-blind-spotDirector: Michael Mann

Genre: Crime, Drama, Action

Runtime: 170 Minutes

Main Cast: Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore, Diane Venora, Amy Brenneman, Ashley Judd, Natalie Portman, Tom Noonan

Plot: Neil McCauley and his group of professional bank robbers start to feel the heat from the police when they leave a clue behind at their latest heist.

My Thoughts: You can’t win them all, and not even the greatest of movies will appeal to everyone. I think I’ve found a very specific genre that I just don’t enjoy at all, cat and mouse, robbers and police movies. I’ve got nothing against crime movies as a whole, in fact, I love watching heists and I love seeing a detective’s case unfold, but none of what happened in the nearly 3 hours of the movie Heat appealed to me.

I just don’t care about any of these characters. 170 minutes long and not enough time to let me build up any kind of sympathy? The only character I really liked was Natalie Portman’s – and oh my goodness how young is she here?! I’m so old. My biggest problem with it is probably the reason it’s so loved. It’s too much like The Departed, and yes I know that one is more recent. But I couldn’t stand The Departed. The whole thing seemed so pointless to me and it was just dull.

Here’s the thing, someone in your gang of robbers is probably going to turn against you. Maybe they’re into some shadier business than you’re already aware. Everyone is moody, has a troubled relationship at home. At the end of the movie, half of the cast is dead and they were terrible people anyway so you don’t even care! Sorry – I’m just ranting now. I know Heat is a well-loved movie. There are parts that I can appreciate, but at the end of the day, it’s just not my thing.

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Best Bit: Robert De Niro’s character says something about not getting attached to anyone or anything that you can’t leave behind in 30 seconds if it all goes south, and when this actually happens to him towards the end of the movie it was a pretty cool moment. Probably the only time I actually felt any emotion whilst watching the movie but it was really memorable.

Worst Bit: The restaurant scene with Robert De Niro and Al Pacino had me rolling my eyes. You guys are making each other’s lives miserable but you’ll have a happy chat over a coffee and talk about respect and what not? Ugh, please!

Fun Trivia: In the director’s commentary, Michael Mann noted that Al Pacino ad-libbed the line “Because she’s got a GREAT ASS!” and Hank Azaria’s look of exasperated shock was totally genuine.

My Rating: 2 full-size bags of Cadbury’s Mini Eggs that I ate whilst watching this movie over the space of 3 days…I am a disgusting human being.

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blind-spot-series-2019-banner-v2The Blind Spot Series was created a few years ago by Ryan at The Matinee, and is now hosted by Sofia at Returning Videotapes. As part of the Series, bloggers choose 1 movie to watch and review each month that is deemed a ‘classic’ or ‘must-watch’. To see the rest of my picks for the year, check out my announcement post here.

Mini Reviews: Red Sparrow (2018), Black Panther (2018) & Annihilation (2018)

Aww, I just realised I should have watched another movie with a colour in the title to make this a perfect Mini Reviews post! Anyway, I’ve been able to watch a few movies over the past few evenings but haven’t had much time to properly blog about them, so I thought it was about time I did another one of these posts to keep the flow going.

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Red Sparrow (2018)

I’ve found Jennifer Lawrence’s movies to be a bit hit and miss lately, and I’m not sure where I would place Red Sparrow. Jennifer Lawrence plays Dominika, a prima-ballerina forced to work for the Russian Government as a Sparrow after suffering an injury. It’s a dark and grim movie in more ways than one – including a knife fight scene which was fascinating to me from a technical point of view.

It didn’t help that I watched this in 3 chunks because the plot moves at a crazy pace. Does anyone remember that episode of Friends where they find out Monica and Chandler are together? The moment¬†with Joey, Rachel and Phoebe, “They don’t know we know they know we know!” This is the spy movie equivalent of that to me.

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Black Panther (2018)

Black Panther I think is the first Marvel movie I didn’t catch at the cinema – a crime, I know! Especially as it seems I’m the only person in the world who didn’t see it. It follows T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) as he fights his claim to the throne as King of Wakanda. It’s an amazing introduction to how the people of Wakanda live, with their impressive technology.

At first I think the hype oversold the movie to me and I was a little disappointed, and it also wasn’t as funny as most of the other Marvel movies, but when you take it as a standalone movie it’s brilliant, and it has claim to one of the best bad guys I’ve seen.

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Annihilation (2018)

I remember seeing the trailer for Annihilation last year and being really impressed. There seemed to be a real buzz around it but then when I took a bit of a blogging break I arrived back to see it had been and gone and it wasn’t really being talked about. Then I realised it was actually a Netflix movie which explained a lot! In this movie, a team of biologists enter ‘The Shimmer’ to investigate a phenomenon that only 1 other people¬†has ever survived.

It’s a good movie and well worth a watch but I didn’t love it. The scene with the bear (you’ll know what I mean if you’ve seen it) was terrifying in all sorts of ways and will stick with me for a long time, but the ending left me scratching my head a bit.

Review: Song to Song (2017)

Remember how literally just a few days ago I said I was struggling to name 5 movies that I really didn’t enjoy this year so far? Remember how my list was half-hearted because I didn’t truly hate any of them, I was just disappointed by them? That I actually missed hate-writing about a movie? Turns out the movie gods were listening that day, because they delivered Song to Song.

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I’ve heard that Terrence Malick movies are often controversial, and a quick check on IMDB confirmed what I thought – until now I haven’t seen a single one of his movies. I gotta say, there were none that really shouted out to me either, but there was no way I could ignore Song to Song. Here’s what I knew:
– Music was a strong feature (I’ve been spoiled by John Carney movies)
– It was set in Austin, Texas (I got to go there for work once and had an amazing time)
– The cast was excellent (Rooney Mara, Natalie Portman, Ryan Gosling & Michael Fassbender)
– It was described as a modern day love story

What could possibly go wrong?

It all started out okay to be honest. It felt a bit qwirky, a bit weird. It was a little raunchy too, so ticks in all the boxes from me. My eyes struggled to adjust to the fact that no single shot seemed to last any longer than 5 seconds, but I thought I’d get used to it. I had over 2 hours of movie to get used to it!

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About 20 minutes in, it all just went to hell. I couldn’t work out what was going on anymore. I thought it was established that Rooney Mara’s character was together with Michael Fassbender’s, but then she fell for Ryan Gosling. It seemed like some weird love triangle, because Ryan Gosling seemed way more interested in bro’ing it up with Michael Fassbender, but then he got married to Natalie Portman and…are you still reading?

This entire movie hurt my head. None of the characters ever seemed to talk much, or even smile. I’m sorry but, how can you fall in love with someone if all you do is float around silently, looking at them with the face and flair of a catwalk model? It’s infuriating!

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I actually gave up at the mid way point and turned the movie off. I thought I could be satisfied with not knowing how the story ended, or wasting another hour of my life whilst risking permanent frown lines from the face I pulled the entire time watching. Alas, the next day the completionist in me couldn’t take it anymore and I watched the rest. Did it get any better? No. Was it worth it? I got to see Ryan Gosling make a turkey out of a napkin (actually one of my favourite party tricks) so there was that.

I’m really sorry to actual, legit movie critics who understood this movie and what it was about, but it just wasn’t my cup of tea at all. 1 and a half napkins from me…you can turn them into turkeys yourself, or ask Ryan Gosling to show you how!

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