Sorry to Bother You (2018)

sorry-to-bother-you-movie-review-2018Director: Boots Riley

Genre: Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Comedy

Runtime: 105 Minutes

Main Cast: Lakeith Stanfield, Tessa Thompson, Jermaine Fowler, Omari Hardwick, Terry Crews, Patton Oswalt, David Cross, Danny Glover, Steven Yeun, Armie Hammer, Mahari Crown, Lily James

Plot: Set in an alternate present-day version of Oakland, telemarketer Cassius Green learns the secret to success, using his “white voice”, which propels him into…madness! That’s the best job I can do in summing up this crazy movie.

My Thoughts: I got to see Sorry to Bother You over a week before it’s UK release thanks to ODEON Screen Unseen! The clues are usually ridiculously cryptic but I was pretty certain it was going to be this, although I was just as certain last time and that didn’t end very well. There were quite a few cheers when the secret movie was revealed so I guess it wasn’t only me who was really looking forward to it!

I thought I had seen the weirdest movie ever when I watched The Lobster. Then I thought the same when I watched Swiss Army Man. Oh boy, Sorry to Bother You is going to hold that award for a long time yet! I was ready for weird, I already knew about the “white voice”, but I was so not ready for what I witnessed. I’ve let it sink in for 48 hours now and I’m still not sure what I really think.

What I am certain about however is that I need to see it again. There are so many tiny details crammed in that I know it’ll be a great rewatch. One thing I didn’t miss however were Tessa Thompson’s dildo earrings! Again, not even close to being the craziest thing about this movie!

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Best Bit: I absolutely loved the scene where Cassius is taken into the golden elevator. I thought that sequence code was going to go on forever, and it made me and the rest of the screen really laugh. Oh, oh, I just remembered…have a cola and smile, bitch! Do you think my husband would be mad at me if I threw a can of Pepsi at him and shouted that?

Worst Bit: There isn’t a specific part that I didn’t enjoy, but I did nod off slightly when it came to Detroit’s art show. I’m not an arty person myself so it just didn’t make a lot of sense to me.

Fun Trivia: During the bar scene, when Danny Glover’s character is asked why he isn’t dancing, he responds with the, “I’m too old for this shit” line made famous from his role as Roger Murtaugh in the Lethal Weapon movie franchise.

My Rating: This rating is bound to change because I feel like it’s the kind of movie that will grow on me with time, but for now it gets 3 and a half out of 5 jade doors…not olive doors, jade doors!

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Venom (2018)

venom-movie-poster-2018-reviewDirector: Ruben Fleischer

Genre: Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Runtime: 112 Minutes

Main Cast: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, Jenny Slate, Scott Haze, Reid Scott, Woody Harrelson, Peggy Lu, Sope Aluko, Wayne Pére

Plot: Eddie Brock, a once-famed reporter loses everything after trying to reveal the truth behind the ethically immoral work of Dr. Carlton Drake. After acquiring the powers of a symbiote – Eddie has to work with Venom in order to make things right.

My Thoughts: I almost skipped seeing this movie, and that would have been a huge mistake! See, when Suicide Squad came out, the critics hated it, but audiences loved it (apparently?). The same happened with Batman V Superman. I wasn’t impressed with either, and so when Venom received the same verdict, I got put off. Thank you, Twitter though, because I left it to a vote and you guys did not disappoint!

I’m reasonably well-versed in comics and superheroes but knew nothing about Venom. I haven’t even seen Spider-Man 3 so I literally knew nothing, so as far as comic-accuracy is concerned, I can’t comment. I also refuse to check this with my husband after he mocked me for pronouncing symbiote wrong – he’s such a nerd.

Anyway – I had such a fun time at the cinema seeing this. Yes, it takes far too long to get going, yes, the plot has several issues and contradicts itself. But! The action is wild, the humor is thick and fast when it finally arrives, and it was memorable for all the right reasons, and I absolutely cannot wait to see it again! Can Tom Hardy please do more lighter roles like this, please?

The team responsible for putting the trailer together for Venom need firing. They chose a scene to showcase the humorous side of the movie which is right at the very end, and without getting to know Venom it came across so weird and awkward, but when you see the movie and you have the context – it works! Thankfully more and more movie fans seem to be ignoring the critics, so fingers crossed we’ll be getting a sequel.

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Best Bit: It’s so hard to pick one because most of the Venom moments are hilarious. I think my personal favorite is Venom daring Eddie to jump out of the building, and then calling him a pussy for opting for the elevator instead. Also lobsters.

Worst Bit: The chicken. The eating of the chicken. I’ve dealt with enough sickness bugs over the last few weeks to stomach that scene. I’m genuinely feeling quite ill even thinking about it.

Fun Trivia: Tom Hardy’s son Louis Thomas Hardy is a fan of Venom, and Hardy took the role to please him: “I wanted to do something my son could watch. So I did something where I bite people’s heads off.” Louis also guided his father on how to appropriately portray Brock/Venom, since Hardy didn’t know the character very well.

My Rating: 4 out of 5 turds in the wind!

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The Meg (2018)

the-meg-movie-poster-review-2018 (1)Director: Jon Turteltaub

Genre: Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

Runtime: 113 Minutes

Main Cast: Jason Statham, Bingbing Li, Rainn Wilson, Cliff Curtis, Winston Chao, Shuya Sophia Cai, Ruby Rose, Page Kennedy, Robert Taylor, Jessica McNamee, Masi Oka

Plot: 5 years ago, expert diver Jonas Taylor encountered an unknown danger in the Mariana Trench. He was forced to abort his mission and abandon his crew, costing him his career, his marriage, and his honour. Now the danger is back, and he is the only person who can save the day. (I can taste the cheese just by typing this)

My Thoughts: I’m so late writing this review, I watched it just over a week ago! It’s given me a good amount of time to think on my feelings about it though, and I honestly really enjoyed it. I haven’t seen many Statham movies at all (can anyone recommend one?) but I knew exactly what to expect going in, and that’s exactly what I got.

The trailer sold it perfectly I think. This is Jason Statham versus a giant, ancient shark. There’s action all over the place, the pace barely slows down, and the story is so, so cheesy. But it works! I guiltily enjoy the Sharknado movies because they’re so terrible you can’t help but love them a bit, but they are stupid as hell. The Meg isn’t like that. It his it’s similarities for sure but it’s more plausible, it’s 1,000 times better made, and I would quite happily watch it again.

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Best Bit: The little girl, Meiying, was a total bad-ass. Not only was her fashion on point (I wish I could rock a hoodie with wings) she was smart as hell and an absolute sass queen. Jason Statham pretending to be Dory (just keep swimming, just keep swimming) was definitely a highlight for me too.

Worst Bit: Ruby Rose. Ugh. I quite liked her in OitNB, but what was the point in her being here? Why was her hair just wet all the time? Seriously, at one point she fell into the water and came out looking exactly the same. Plus my 10 month old can fake cry better than she can. Boooooooring.

Fun Trivia: Eli Roth was attached as director before being replaced by Jon Turteltaub. Roth left due to creative differences with the studio, namely that he wanted the film to maintain both its R-rating and a $150 million budget. It was also rumored that Roth, on top of writing and directing, also wanted to play the lead role of Jonas, but the studio believed he did not have the star power.

My Rating: 3 and a half rubber rings! I’ll be using mine in the pool though, where it’s safe…

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Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

antman-and-the-wasp-movie-poster-2018Director: Peyton Reed

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Comedy

Runtime: 118 Minutes

Main Cast: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Peña, Walton Goggins, Bobby Cannavale, Judy Greer, Hannah John-Kamen, Randall Park, Michelle Pfeiffer, Laurence Fishburne, Michael Douglas

Plot: Scott Lang has been placed on house arrest after the events of Civil War. During this time, Hope and Hank think they have found a way to locate and rescue Hope’s mother, the original Wasp.

My Thoughts: On Monday night I went to a secret screening at my local Odeon, the first of it’s kind that I’d ever been to. I immediately felt at home as you could only book onto the screening if you were a Limitless card holder, so there were quite a few other people on solo trips like me. The whole room cheered once we realised we were getting to see Ant-Man and the Wasp a few days early! I realise practically the whole world has seen it by now, but us tea-loving folk have to wait for ages sometimes.

I don’t know if the excitement did it, but I absolutely loved every minute of this movie. Paul Rudd is just utterly adorable. Evangeline Lilly kicked ass every time she was on screen. Michael Peña is just a delight. Thanks to the ‘powers’ that Ant-Man and Wasp use, the action scenes are just so different to every other movie out there, and the gimmick doesn’t get old, for me at least.

There were turns in the plot that I didn’t see coming, there were heartwarming moments, I laughed out loud several times. What more can you ask for from a movie? I’ve seen reviews mentioning a wafer-thin plot and a bit of a pointless villain but it didn’t taint the movie for me. You can stick Ant-Man right next to Doctor Strange at the top of my favourite Marvel heroes list!

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Best Bit: The moment I was waiting for – Luis telling a story in his own special way. It only happened once but oh it was so worth it. I laughed so loud I missed half of what was said!

Worst Bit: There weren’t any bad moments, but I ended up watching no less than 3 different trailers for the movie over the last few months so there were so many moments that didn’t have much of an impact for me because I’d already watched them 20 times.

Fun Trivia: Contrary to initial appearances, the Pym’s laboratory building is not an actual building that can be shrunk to the size of a suitcase. On the contrary, that small size is the original size of the object. It has been built of brick construction pieces and miniature models of equipment such as AA batteries for a power source etc., and has been enlarged to a full-size building when the owners wish to enter it without changing their own size.

My Rating: 4 and a half out of 5 playing cards, which will come in handy when I find the time to learn close-up magic tricks!

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Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

jurassic-world-fallen-kingdom-poster-2018Director: J.A. Bayona

Main Cast: Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Pratt, Jeff Goldblum, Danielle Pineda, Ted Levine, James Cronwell, BD Wong, Rafe Spall, Toby Jones, Justice Smith, Isabella Sermon

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

Plot: The park on Isla Nubar has been closed now for 4 years, but the once-dormant volcano there is now about to erupt at any moment. The debate has started, should these dinosaurs be saved or should we let nature run its cause and allow the volcano to kill them all?

My Thoughts: I feel so torn on this one. Personally, I loved Jurassic World, even if it did feel like a 2-hour long example of product placement. It’s nice to have a movie where you can suspend your belief and just have some good fun, and that’s exactly what I was hoping for with the sequel. The first half of the movie delivers that perfectly, but the second half…was just kind of silly!

Seeing Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard again on screen was a joy, and I loved the 2 new additions to their team, although they provided most of the laughs also. There was a good mix of fast action, humour and thrills. Once the dinosaurs had been taken away from Isla Nubar however, it all just unravelled into a bit of a mess.

Also, have I turned into an overprotective parent already or am I not alone in thinking that there’s NO WAY young children should see this? I thought the Jurassic Park movies were family-friendly but this is kind of gory in places!

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Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun watching Fallen Kingdom, and I’ll probably watch it again with my family, I just didn’t like the second half as much, and I have no idea what to say about the ending…I mean just think how much all your insurance premiums are going to go up by!

Best Bit: I have two! Either the scene with Chris and Dallas trying to take the blood from the T-Rex, or the clips of Blue and the other raptors when they were tiny. I want a Blue of my very own!

Worst Bit: The Indoraptor sneaking his way into the little girl’s room. It’s just stupid on so many levels. Why would a dinosaur that was a hyperactive killing machine suddenly turn into stealth mode, and why would that girl, who had been set up as such a smart character, decide to hide not even under her bed, but just under the covers. Ugh.

Fun Trivia: The ending of Fallen Kingdom will apparently leave audiences wanting more. Trevorrow says: “At the end of this movie, it’s not a cliffhanger, but it’s designed for people to want to know what’s going to happen next, whereas the earlier Jurassic Park movies had pretty clear definitive endings.”

My Rating: 3 out of 5 laser guns…and please, don’t aim them at Chris Pratt. That’s a silly thing to do.

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Review: A Quiet Place (2018)

A-Quiet-Place-movie-review-2018I know this isn’t a big deal for most people (or any people actually, other than my Mum) but can you believe I actually went to the cinema to see A Quiet Place? With my blogging buddy Jenna no less? Me, who only even started watching horror movies in recent years, and even then only at home in broad daylight, went to the cinema at nighttime to see A Quiet Place. If life were a video game, I just unlocked an achievement right there. It’s actually all my fellow bloggers’ fault for hyping this movie up so much and getting me excited.

Similar to last year’s Get Out (2017), this movie has been talked about so much now I think everyone knows the plot, but if not I’ll quickly recap it now, seeing as that’s what I do anyway! A Quiet Place is set in the very near future, where most of Earth’s population has been wiped out by an invasion of aliens who are totally blind but with an excellent sense of hearing. Because of this, Lee (John Krasinski), his wife Evelyn (Emily Blunt) and their children are forced to live in near-silence in order to survive.

Because of this, the majority of the movie is extremely quiet, if not silent, with very little or no soundtrack in the background. That alone ramps up the tension to near breaking point in the darkened cinema, so even though the jump scares are mostly such simple things, they scare the absolute pants off of you. Or me at least, anyway. Once you finally get settled and used to the lack of noise, something happens to set you on edge again. The pacing is really clever in that regard.

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Of course, it’s not a horror without someone doing something stupid. Guess what? Evelyn is pregnant. Lady, what on earth were you thinking?! I don’t care if you’ve already had 3 kids, you can’t give birth in silence and raise a baby that way. Could you not have taken some condoms from the supermarket?

All jokes aside though, A Quiet Place is a really, really good movie. It’s tense and scary enough to give you a real fright when you watch it, but for someone with an overactive imagination like me, it won’t give you nightmares afterwards. It’s the only time a horror hasn’t played on my mind actually, but I think that’s because the scare factor is making a sound, and back in reality I know that I’m okay to make noise, so I was quite happy. I’m odd, I know.

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Can we take a moment here to appreciate John Krasinski? Our adorable and hilarious Jim Halpert has only gone and directed and starred in what will probably be hailed as 2018’s greatest horror movie. Michael Scott would be proud.

If you can’t tell, I really enjoyed A Quiet Place. I don’t think I’ll be rushing to see it again anytime soon, but I can highly recommend it as a great horror movie for the wuss’s like me to go and see. I think I saw on Facebook earlier this week that it’s getting a sequel too – although I’m not sure how to feel about that. Anyway, 4 and a half toy rockets from me. Just take out the batteries, please.

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Review: Ready Player One (2018)

ready-player-one-review-2018-movieI can’t believe I finally got to see Ready Player One, a movie I’ve been waiting for for 2 years last week, and I’m only just writing about it now. In my defence, I’ve been kept busy in the evenings playing Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and y’no, I have a baby. A baby who is currently napping waving her blanket in the air and babbling, so this may take a while. Mornings like these make me really want to slip on a VR headset and enter the OASIS!

The movie is set in the not-too-far-away future where we’re all addicted to virtual reality. The creator of this VR called the OASIS has passed away and left behind a competition for everyone in the form of an easter egg hunt. Whoever can find all 3 keys which lead to the egg will win full ownership of the OASIS. It’s a lot to take in, but a good chunk of the opening of the movie explains it all in a fair amount of detail. I’ve read the book so I knew the story anyway, but I do question how much a fresh viewer would take in.

Our focus is on Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan), better known by his avatar’s name, Parzival. Wade lives in ‘the Stacks’, a run-down area formed of caravans stacked on top of each other. Wade and his best friend Aech (Lena Waithe) along with fellow ‘Gunters’ (egg hunters) Art3mis (Olivia Cooke), Daito (Win Morisaki) and Sho (Philip Zhao) form an alliance to find the egg before corporate douchebag Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn) and his army beat them to it.

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My favourite thing about this movie adaptation is the casting – it couldn’t be more perfect. It’s so hard when a beloved book comes on to the big screen and your visions of the characters are shattered by odd casting choices. I couldn’t have chosen a better cast myself in this case. Mark Rylance as the awkward creator of the OASIS is spot on, and I had the goofiest grin on my face every time Ben Mendelsohn showed up. I’m just so gutted that Simon Pegg’s character Ogden wasn’t around very much because he was a much bigger character in the book.

Of course, a lot of the movie is set within the OASIS, so rather than seeing these actors we actually see their avatars, so as you can imagine, it’s CGI-heavy. Rather than it being an attack on the senses though it’s absolutely stunning. I was SO glad I got to see it in the cinema for that reason!

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As you’ve no doubt heard, Ready Player One is packed to the brim of 80’s and gaming references. It’s done so tastefully though that even if you recognise none of them, the movie won’t be spoiled for you. Rather than being thrown at your face all the time, it’s just constantly there in the background, making rewatches a lot of fun I imagine as you’ll spot things you may have missed the first time around.

I loved it if you can’t tell, and my only gripes are from changes from the book, which I know can never be helped. 4 and a half easter eggs from me, which reminds me that I think I still have some left-over chocolate in the cupboard…

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Nevermind – my baby just woke up from her nap.